The entire time I spent at GaymerX2 felt safe — which is more than could be said for any other convention of the 20+ I’ve ever attended. This was a space that was beautiful, open, and where no one was about to give you a strange look. I cherished that entire weekend and knew that, if somehow a third event ever came to fruition, that I’d definitely go to it too. My failure to attend the first convention definitely dogged on me for a while as well. How could I have missed such a great opportunity (despite totally knowing about the original Kickstarter in 2012).
Through an intense set of circumstances, people began promising funds for a third year to actually take place. This is interesting enough as GaymerX2 was meant to be the final convention ever. When news arrived that GX3 was officially happening I was ecstatic! It’s just that since then events beyond their control have caused me to worry about this year’s event. I’m sure it might all sound overdramatic, paranoid, or even hipster-like, but these are thoughts that have been stewing for months and they will likely not leave my mind until I’m actually at GX3 having a grand old time. Please note that the following content includes references to harassment, bigotry, and related topics so those sensitive to such commentary may not wish to read on. Heck, thinking about all this is upsetting to me, too.
My first fear is connected to events that took place earlier this year online. An indeterminately sized group of gamers took it upon themselves to lash out against GX3 for reasons I never quite figured out. This lasted for about a week, I think, and the harassment was palpable. Were there any goals to this beyond making their opposition to a LGBTQ-focused event known? Who can say. That might not even be an accurate representation, but again this was something I did my best to avoid, lest it all upset me on a more personal level.
It appears that the dust has mostly settled since then as months have passed without much obvious issue. One of the fears related to this is that this group of people have not forgotten their distaste with GX3 and will show up again when the convention is happening. Of course, actually showing up in person seems a bit much, especially if it would mean paying for a ticket to a convention just to harass others. Considering that would lead to being thrown out, it seems like a huge waste of money for those individuals. Even so, it’s something which is unpredictable. Maybe this is too ridiculous for most to even take seriously.
It’s with my second fear that things feel a bit more “realistic.” Earlier this year, GaymerX2 was shown on the HBO show Looking. I’ve not watched it myself, but apparently the show is focused on gay relationships and therefore has a high proportion of LGBTQ fans. By being introduced to the convention through this show, many folks who had never before heard of it bought tickets and will be enjoying it alongside everyone else. This should be a thing to celebrate, as it means the greater potential of financial success for GX3!
So why am I scared? My fear stems from an unfortunate, ugly realization that I’ve made by existing within the LGBTQ community for some years now. Just because someone states that they are part of the LGBTQ family does not mean they are accepting of everyone that this shorthand refers to. For example, many gay and lesbian people fail to recognize bisexuals as “real” people with real emotions and instead choose to make fun of or deny their sexuality.
Then there are many lesbian, gay, and bi people who have less than optimal understanding and acceptance of transgender people or queerness at all. Sometimes it’s just as simple as a mistaken pronoun and other times it’s an outright refusal to treat someone as a regular human being. Obviously, not all LGBTQ community members are like this, but some folks out there are and have never even been challenged for their behavior. In-fighting happens even though we all wish it didn’t. It hurts to write about but it’s even more insidious when it happens to you in a place you believe to be “safe.” I feel that this increasing awareness of GX3 may invite some of that ignorant element.
No, I was never treated poorly at any point during GaymerX2. I want to reiterate that it was the most safe I have ever felt at any gaming or geek event ever and I still cling to the hope that GX3 will repeat that circumstance for me. But even if it does, there’ still a dread deep within that someone will ruin that same feeling for someone else. Perhaps someone who doesn’t “pass.” Or for an individual who for whatever reason looks to a bigoted person as an outsider. It could come from an outside naysayer or it could come from someone in the LGBTQ community. The thing is, it doesn’t matter who causes verbal, mental, or physical harm to another person because that is something which isn’t easily undone.
My hope is that GX3 staff are extremely vigilant in ensuring that anyone who appears to be in distress is helped and that any arguments are quelled immediately. GaymerX2 was beautiful and I know and believe that 2015 can be more of that same fabulousness. Everyone just needs to ensure that they are aware and kind. Even if you do not understand someone’s worldview, beliefs, desires, etc, that is no reason to say anything against them. Not at this event. GX3 is a means for LGBTQ gamers and allies to come together and cherish all that we hold dear without the world getting us down. Let’s not cause harm to ourselves.
All very valid arguments, but the only thing that I’m truly nervous about is getting in front of an audience and talking about Kickstarter.
Ohh snap! So you’re doing your discussion? I knew you submitted it, but wasn’t sure where it went from there. Can’t wait to hear details of what you’ll be covering!
It’s not official yet, but I know Matt was looking forward to it. I’ll double-check with him to see if it went through. If it did, then I’ll be even more nervous.
We’re definitely going to do a Kickstarter panel and we’ll have you on it, we’re just trying to figure out the best lineup of cool folks to really flesh it out 🙂
You’ll do great! I’m excited to check it out. And yeah, like Marcus said, you’re more than welcome to practice with us!
I might take you guys up on that offer when it gets closer to the con. 😉
You can always practice your talking with me either via Skype or in person beforehand (I assume Greg would also be willing to lend a hand!). I know that’s not the same as actually speaking in front of an AUDIENCE, but it might help in some small way :).
“My first fear is connected to events that took place earlier this year online. An indeterminately sized group of gamers took it upon themselves to lash out against GX3 for reasons I never quite figured out. This lasted for about a week, I think, and the harassment was palpable”…I actually remember that, there was a whole thing about it on social media that people commented on. I think it had something to do with the event wanting to deny LGBT members from participating, but to be honest I didn’t look past that, I’m sure there were multiple factors involved. Anyway as long as they have adequate security in place, I see no reason the event can’t move forward.
P.S. I agree with Serena public speaking Is what I’d be more concerned with If I had to speak at a public event.
Thanks for the slight explanation, I think I recall now to some degree the events that transpired but in any case that has long since passed at least.
Public speaking is definitely a big, scary thing to most of us! I have never had to do it in front of a large crowd but even for smaller groups it is something that for some reason is so stressful. Of course given how well Serena writes, I expect her to totally kick butt at the panel and look like a total public speaking pro.
Awwww, thanks for your vote of confidence. I haven’t spoken in front of an audience since college. :O
This is a really great article and I appreciate you taking the time to voice your concerns – typing up an actual response but we’ve read it! 😀
Thanks for reading! Even with all this said I am still beyond excited that the convention is back for a third round (and hopefully more after that).
Ok! Response time!
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It’s nice to see others as concerned with this as we have been, and I hope it will add some comfort to know that we’ve been working on it. We’ve had countless discussions this year both on the matter of handling hate groups and also our growing popularity. Here are some ways we are dealing with these issues.
1. Our volunteers, the backbone of GX, will be acting as our ambassadors, actively spreading and teaching the culture within the event.
2. Our Inclusivity Statement, a guide to interactions at GX, will be readily handy, and visible throughout the event.
3. Security is heavily beefed up this year, both in our own staff and in privately contracted security. Private security will mostly be hidden and only called upon in extreme situations. The rest of our security staff is also trained like our volunteers and will be helping spread culture as well as reassuring everyone that they are there to help.
4. The majority of tickets purchased so far have been people who have been to GX before and I know that we’ll all work together as well to help people learn the ways to behave.
5. Our goal at the end of the day is to work hard to keep everyone safe and happy but to do so as discreetly as possible. Ideally, walking around GX3 should look and feel just like GX2 did.
We definitely understand the concerns, both from having had several members of our organization personally targeted by GG and also from a deep understanding in the difference between many “LGBT” events and the way we run our inclusive safe space. We also know that people have to learn and maybe there will be mistakes here and there, but just like every year we will take care of things as they arise and work with people to avoid any stress. And, of course, we will enforce our policies if we need to, quickly and without hesitation.
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Hope that this helps assuage some of your concerns, and please reach out to us anytime if you have concerns, thoughts, ideas or just wanna say hi!
Thanks for the update! If you’re ok with it we can add a post-script to the article with your response. Just let us know!
Of course! sorry for the delay 🙂