For the love of… *sigh* Okay. Fine. This exists.

In a daring crossover of two of the most annoying things in the world, a man known only as Sage G has created a game that will change the world if it is released – and not for the better. I’m speaking of course of Flappy Potato Salad Simulator, which is basically Skyrim, but it’s Flappy Bird with Potato Salad and forks instead, and since it’s a simulator, we all know that it’s a 1:1 comparison, a scale replica if you will, of what it’s really like to fly some potato salad around.

The best thing about this campaign is that this title has tight controls, fantastic level design, AAA-caliber graphics, and possibly the lowest goal of any project we’ve ever covered here on Cliqist. For the low, low price of $5, we can all play this hallmark achievement of technological art. Wait… Nope. No we can’t, because if this title makes its goal, we’ll actually be spared the rod this time around.

If we don’t give the mysterious Sage G his $5, we’ll be forced to endure this title. He’s holding the sanity and moral security of the world random, and if we don’t stand together as one, this travesty will befall mankind and surely bring us to our knees. Please, my brothers, let us stand together and give this man $5 so we can get on with our lives, free of Flappy Potato Salad Simulator.

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Update from Greg :  Well, looks like things fell through, and Sage G canceled the Flappy Potato Salad Simulator Kickstarter earlier today after raising $1.00.  The torch has been taken up by Oded Sharon; the man behind the tragically unsuccessful Kickstarter for Bolt Riley, a promising adventure game.  (Un)Fortunately Oded’s campaign is to release Flappy Potato Salad, rather than a nefarious ploy to extort people out of money.  Still trying to figure out which is worse.

 

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Nathaniel Liles
Nathaniel Liles is a freelance writer, writing major, and indie musician based in Southern Indiana. While procrastinating or avoiding real-world responsibility, Nathaniel enjoys playing rhythm games, action RPGs, and very colorful games with many bright, flashing lights. You can listen to Nathaniel sing songs or download his music for free at http://nathanielliles.bandcamp.com/.
Nathaniel Liles