Hear that sound? That is game designer Andrew C. Wang’s front door splintering under the boots of the Disney Copyright Death Squads. As they drag him off to the Cinderella-themed Gulags, he will gaze up toward the late-afternoon sky, and see the first twinkling star of the evening. He will smile, and sigh happily, confident in the knowledge that his creation will go on to enrich humanity for millennia to come. Attack of the Jar Jar Clones is more than a game; it is a manifesto. A manifesto that says: Jar Jar is a rubbery binch, and dual-lightsaber wielding Porgs are the future we deserve.
Look, I try not to use the phrase “Single greatest thing ever built with human hands’ lightly, but credit where credit is due. Porg with a lightsaber? THINK BIGGER. Porg with two lightsabers? CLOSER. Porg with two lightsabers fighting off increasingly larger waves of Jar Jar Clones? SQUEEZE YOURSELF A FRESH MOUTHFUL OF GREEN MILK MY FRIEND YOU HAVE DONE WELL.
Attack of the Jar Jar Clones was created as part of Jar Jar Jam – the latest in a legacy of weird and wonderful jam projects by its prolific creator, and shows a surprising amount of polish for it. Controls are simple, but endlessly satisfying. WASD or directional keys move your pugilistic puffin, Space is jump, and any other keys swing the lightsabers. There’s a good amount of weight behind the swings, too, so you can happily get out all that murderous frustration at some really old films that didn’t do exactly what you wanted.
You can grab Attack of the Jar Jar Clones for free here. Unless, of course, you don’t like Porgs. But if you hate fun, why are you playing videogames in the first place? x