Hear that sound? That is game designer Andrew C. Wang’s front door splintering under the boots of the Disney Copyright Death Squads. As they drag him off to the Cinderella-themed Gulags, he will gaze up toward the late-afternoon sky, and see the first twinkling star of the evening. He will smile, and sigh happily, confident in the knowledge that his creation will go on to enrich humanity for millennia to come. Attack of the Jar Jar Clones is more than a game; it is a manifesto. A manifesto that says: Jar Jar is a rubbery binch, and dual-lightsaber wielding Porgs are the future we deserve.

Attack of the Jar Jar Clones

Look, I try not to use the phrase “Single greatest thing ever built with human hands’ lightly, but credit where credit is due. Porg with a lightsaber? THINK BIGGER. Porg with two lightsabers? CLOSER. Porg with two lightsabers fighting off increasingly larger waves of Jar Jar Clones? SQUEEZE YOURSELF A FRESH MOUTHFUL OF GREEN MILK MY FRIEND YOU HAVE DONE WELL.

Meesa Mutilated!

Attack of the Jar Jar Clones was created as part of Jar Jar Jam – the latest in a legacy of weird and wonderful jam projects by its prolific creator, and shows a surprising amount of polish for it. Controls are simple, but endlessly satisfying. WASD or directional keys move your pugilistic puffin, Space is jump, and any other keys swing the lightsabers. There’s a good amount of weight behind the swings, too, so you can happily get out all that murderous frustration at  some really old films that didn’t do exactly what you wanted.

Attack of the Jar Jar Clones
No Pilot Training?! Porgy Sue CONFIRMED!

You can grab Attack of the Jar Jar Clones for free here. Unless, of course, you don’t like Porgs. But if you hate fun, why are you playing videogames in the first place? x

Nic Reuben

Nic Reuben

Nic Reuben likes to pause games every five minutes to ponder the thematic implications of explosive barrel placement. When he's not having an existential crisis over CAPTCHA verifications that ask him to prove he's not a robot, he's reading sci-fi and fantasy short stories, watching cartoons, and mourning the writing standards in Game of Thrones.
Nic Reuben

@@nicthehumanboy

Games Words Person // He/Him // Writing in: Rock Paper Shotgun, Critical Distance, Cliqist // Staff Writer: @GalpOGG // nic@oldgrizzledgamers.com
RT @pixelatedboat: You, a normal punk: Oi! Thatcher, innit? Me, a cyberpunk: Oi! Computers, innit? - 7 hours ago
Nic Reuben