Steampunk Survival RTS They Are Billions is spreading with all the ferocity of a staggering, lurching, festering horde of dancing squirrels (You thought I was going to say zombies, didn’t you.) Unlike the animated corpses that inhabit its apocalyptic world, however, this intense strategy game is anything but mindless. Here’s five pieces of terrible advice, just in case you’re wondering how to get even worse at They are Billions than you already are, you useless, so-called “Games Journalist”. What? No I am not projecting. Why would you even suggest that? I own four copies of Dark Soulsmate. What do you say to that?

They are Billions game

Don’t: Do Nothing

The absolute fastest way to get utterly destroyed in They are Billions is to go to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for this all to blow over. Aside from a couple of spots in the early game, there’s almost no downtime in They are Billions. If you’re not expanding, you should be exploring. If you’re not exploring, you should be training or upgrading. And if you’re not exploring, training, expanding, or upgrading, then you’re probably dead. Oops.

They are Billions game

Don’t: Forget the Pause Button

Look, we all know “Toilet Breaks”, “Showering” and “Eating Occasionally so you Don’t Pass Out” are for casuals, but the pause button is there for a reason. Especially in the early game, getting the most of your limited space is crucial, so you’ll want pay extra attention to the layout of your settlement. Also, buildings can be cancelled in pause mode without the loss of 50% resources. Remember those things out there? They want to eat you, and they’re not going to wait around forever.

They are BillionsDon’t: Ignore the Environment

Simpy put: If you ignore the environment, you’re going to have a bad time. One of your earliest priorities should be sending each of your four rangers in four separate directions to scout your surroundings. Soon enough, you’ll start to notice natural choke points you can use to funnel attacking zombies into – this is where you set up your initial barricades and towers. Try to make sure you’ve got enough resources inside your walls first, though, as expansion pushes can be expensive.

They are Billions

Don’t: Build Whatever, Wherever

As you’ll notice once you start getting into the higher building tiers, it pays to have buildings of a similar type in close proximity. Try to build your dwellings and resource gathering structures near structures of the same type, it’ll come in handy quickly. Also, don’t do what I did and build your towers in the same lines as your walls. I know it looks cool, but putting them directly behind the walls gives you an extra line of defense.

They are Billions

Don’t: Only Defend Your Favorite Direction

I know, I know, West is just plain better than all the other directions. Everybody loves West, that’s just how it is. But the Zombies in They Are Billions don’t seem to know this, and will attack from any, and every, direction. As such, it helps to have a spare gang of units tucked safely away in a corner that you can call on whenever things get hairy, or, fleshy, I guess. Fleshy and bloody and bitey. Yum.

If you’re still yet to check out They Are Billions, you can find our early access impressions here.

Nic Reuben

Nic Reuben

Nic Reuben likes to pause games every five minutes to ponder the thematic implications of explosive barrel placement. When he's not having an existential crisis over CAPTCHA verifications that ask him to prove he's not a robot, he's reading sci-fi and fantasy short stories, watching cartoons, and mourning the writing standards in Game of Thrones.
Nic Reuben

@@nicthehumanboy

Videogames Words Person // Staff Writer @Cliqist, @NewNormative // Bylines in: @GoombaStompMag // Pie Crumbs in: My Beard
@eric_lang What fiendish design experiment is this? - 10 hours ago
Nic Reuben