[dropcap size=big]I[/dropcap]’m a huge fan of adventure games, so it might come as a shock that I almost passed up on City Quest. That’s right. I didn’t find out about this one until it was almost over, but I couldn’t pass up on the chance to see how many ways I can kill off the main character. One of the main selling points of some of the old Sierra classics was to discover how many ways you can get our hero to die and to see the hilarious death screens. This game actually has achievements for doing this to “Boy 6”.
In fact, the whole death thing is what made me back City Quest in the first place. It’s not the only reason, but I will admit that it was the main one. I also couldn’t resist the temptation to become a “person of the evening,” hobo, mafioso, or politician. I’ll put it plainly here. There is absolutely nothing politically correct about this game. Nothing is sacred and you’ll probably find something to be offended about somewhere in the city. Unless you’re like me and take the jokes in stride. Seriously, even the jokes that I shouldn’t find funny I do. Because they’re timed perfectly.
If you’re looking for something with a deep plot you won’t find it here. All of the quests for each storyline are just insane ways to get our lovable loser killed off. Or to open up ways to do so. In fact, while the majority of deaths can be done on any path some require you to go down one route or the other. Which means if you want to unlock every death you’ll have to play through City Quest at least four times. Which you’ll probably want to do anyway as all four “classes” are hilarious in and of themselves.
Here’s the basic story in a nutshell. You’re a country bumpkin that’s about as close to Deliverance as you’re gonna get in an adventure game. Your parents are dead and you decide to go to the big city and make a name for yourself. Your luggage (and hence any money you have on you) gets destroyed at the airport and you’re forced to go to a slum known as Hooklyn. There you meet representatives of the four choices, do some preliminary work for them, and then head off into the city proper to do their bidding. And die. A lot. Repeatedly and often. It’s like the fates are conspiring against your continued existence.
Chances are you never know what’s going on or just have a basic understanding of what is going down. But that’s okay because you’re there for the deaths. Right? And they’re plenty varied and some are side splitting hilarious. Some of them even involve doing evil things for evil clowns. You’ll also want to be on the lookout for various ethnic babies to collect. And other hidden goodies. I won’t spoil all the fun, but if you’re looking for something irreverent to play then you should consider giving City Quest a try.