With the 2018 Christmas season upon us it’s time to wrap ourselves up warm, pour a hot cup of…something, and sit back with a few indie gems. In this case when we say indie gems we actually refer to some truly awesome lumps of indie coal. Well, coal can become diamonds if you squeeze them hard enough.
While the genre of Christmas games is pretty slim in the mainstream sphere the indie scene has a decent history of pumping out some pretty solid holiday-themed titles. In this list we examine the not-so-solid games that you can play if you’re a bit more Grinch than you are Santa.
What did you do to Deserve These?
Not all of the games on this list are necessarily bad, but they all have their problems and a fair few represent Christmas in a less than ‘traditional’ way. For instance Santa Rockstar HD is not a bad rhythm game, but the image of a heavy metal Santa using cannons to deliver presents isn’t present in many people’s celebrations.
For every entry on the list that is a hidden gem there is at least one that is the inkiest black piece of sooty indie coal that has ever existed. Santa’s Special Delivery is frankly a horrible Christmas game. It features Santa with no trousers, and doing something no old man should be doing down a chimney.
Oh Christmas Twee
From faecal-obsessed magical fat people, to hallmark-inspired twenty-somethings. Delicious: Emily’s Christmas Carol is as twee as it gets, and has the same gameplay as thousands of low-effort phone games.
In a similar vain comes Christmas Wonderland 4 one of those abysmal hidden item games. As per usual for games of the genre this game features almost no gameplay at all. It does however feature a terrible game slathered in a Christmas skin in a disgusting attempt to get holiday sales.
Both Chicken Invaders 3: Christmas Edition and Magic Ball 4 can be accused of the same thing. They’re both games that have nothing to do with Christmas beyond a few graphical assets. Not to mention their gameplay is stolen directly from games over two decades old.
What a Turkey
Possibly the strangest entry on the list is The Turkey of Christmas Past. It’s a game about a giant cat with a sword slaughtering festive birds. The game has almost on visual connection to Christmas, instead looking like the worst Dark Souls mod ever made.
The most disturbing of them all however is likely Adolescent Santa Clause. It’s always creepy when someone takes a childhood icon and sexualizes them. It gets even worse when it’s done in a dull and short visual novel found randomly on steam.
Search for the Worst
There are almost certainly going to be games on this list that many people have never heard of. That doesn’t mean that we’ve managed to cover anything however. Digging up these lumps of indie coal wasn’t easy, but there are sure to be more out there. We’ll be keeping our eyes peeled for next year, in the mean time it’d probably be better to stay on the nice list.
